The Unmarried Woman

Every week, we'll be re-watching an episode of Sex and the City, and writing our thoughts on the topics. We're starting right at the beginning with Season 1, Episode 1.

[Google search of "unmarried woman." Why so drab?]

The first episode, if not the entire series, can be summed up by the two labels used to describe the protagonist and antagonist: "the unmarried woman" and "the toxic bachelor" respectively. 

The label "unmarried woman" is becoming more and more like libel to me as I approach my 30s. All religious, cultural, social, and family whatnots aside, I think marriage is an overinflated balloon. I know it is an unrealistic luxury to ignore those aformentioned constructs, but let's pop it for the sake of all the bullied "unmarried" women out there (myself included)!

Let's break it down. 

The unmarried woman. Synonymous with old maid and spinster. Who is she unmarried to exactly? I can think of 3. She is either unmarried to herself (figuratively), unmarried to her boyfriend, or unmarried to no one. Every woman should firstly be "married" to herself. She should know, respect, and love herself before anything else. If she is then unmarried to her boyfriend, of 7 years in my case, what is the problem really? They are either committed to each other or they are not. No marriage license is going super glue them two any stronger than their own freewill and love. Finally, if she is unmarried to no one and single at 30, why is the automatic assumption often a negative one? "Oh, well she's damaged, crazy, and too high maintenance" versus "Wow, she's prudent, career-driven, and has high standards." To me, the unmarried woman is synonymous with independence which is much more valuable than what a marriage license can offer (fyi you can now obtain one online!).

With that said, since I never had a quinceanera or debut, I still really want to throw a party that's all about me. A wedding might suffice even if I do have to share the limelight.